Acts of Self-Care

I spent Friday night watching three movies in a row with my husband. Melissa McCarthy comedies that made us both laugh. We had a good time. Before going to I checked my phone. Bad move. Never check social media before going to bed. I know better. Still there I was scrolling Instagram.

I saw a post about Senator Collins speech and why she was voting for Brett Kavanaugh to be a Supreme Court Judge. A lifetime gig, guaranteeing us 30 + years of having to fight for basic woman rights in the US. With ripple effects we can only guess.

I sat on the bathroom floor crying. Instead of going to bed I sat there reading comments about Kavanaugh's confirmation. I read comments from women who had never shared their stories before. I read about the sexual assaults they had carried alone for years. I read about the fear of what might come.

My heart broke. I don't live in the US. Norway is still one of the most liberal countries in the world. But this is a wake-up call. Our rights are not guaranteed. We have plenty of wrongdoings over here as well. But the US influences the world in a way no other country does. When they start taking away basic human rights, be it women's rights, indigenous rights or LGBTQ rights, it will affect us all. We are not free before all are free.

This has been a heavy and dark weekend. And I know I'm not the only one. We need to feel the feelings, we need to let it pass through us. But we also need self-care. If there's one thing I've learned over the years it's how vital self-care is. I'm not talking about manicures or shopping sprees. I'm talking about the ways you can heal your heart, keep your sanity and avoid running on empty.



I'm talking about the ways you can heal your heart, keep your sanity and avoid running on empty.



Self-care comes in all forms. You do you and find what works best. I do recommend you to be mindful of mixing self-care with running away from yourself or blocking your feelings moving through. Getting drunk might not be the best way to fuel your life.

Here are some of the things I've done this weekend. They are not grand, but they are what I've needed.



1. Sleeping

Napping on the couch and going to bed early. Always helps. 100% free.



2. Essential oils

Emotional healing through essential oils. Balance mix underneath my feet to keep grounded, Geranium over my heart, peppermint to open up my breathing and frankincense everywhere!

10D85C56-36F5-4CFD-BF22-40FC7D790B6A.jpg



3. Feel good movies

No violence. Periode. I'm in general super sensitive to violence on the screen, but when I'm not feeling good it's even worse.



4. Hugs

Hugged my husband. Also free and benefits us both.



5. Cold bath

Maybe it doesn't sound like self-care, but being able to sit in the cold ocean is the best grounding you can find. It's a meditation that will reset you physically and mentally.

IMG_6063.jpg

6. Move to music

Inspired by Glennon Doyle's IG post I turned Pink’s song "I Am Here" on full blast this morning and danced. Twice. It Felt Amazing!

It always reminds me to move. I used to have an alarm on my phone to remind me every day to dance. I might need to do that again.

Skjermbilde 2018-10-08 13.18.19.png

7. Gratitude

Showed gratitude for the enormous courage it took for Dr. Christine Blasey Ford to speak up. I first posted it on my FB account. It lead to an old classmate (white male) of mine starting an argument about her motives. In the end, I unfriended him on FB. I can't bother with men who aren't willing to see how harmful their words towards women can be.

IMG_6071.jpg

But this morning I wrote a thank you letter to Dr. Ford. And that felt good. Really good!

If you want to do the same, you can use this address. It's her work address so it will not affect her safety:

Dr. Christine Blasey Ford

c/o Palo Alto University

1791 Arastradero Rd.

Palo Alto

CA 94304

USA



So tell me, what do you turn to when it comes to self-care?

What do you do to recharge? I'd love to hear❤️

Smile More & other things women are told

One thing girls are never told: to keep talking.

We are never told to keep talking. 

 

We do hear:

Play smaller. Be nicer. Smile more. Adapt to other peoples needs. Keep people happy. Take care of others.

Be good. Be pretty. Be cute. Be girly. Be feminine. Be polite. Make others feel good. Buffer the noisy boys. 

 

Don’t nag. 

Don’t criticise. 

Don’t be you. For god sake, just don’t be you. 

"You" (the woman) is not good enough. 

"You" (the female) is flawed. 

Womanhood is weak and unpredictable. Your period makes you dirty and needs to be hidden. 

 

And let's not forget these:

Who do you think you are?

You’re such a slut.

You’re a whore.

You’re ugly.

You’re fat.

Wow, it must be that time of the month!

I’d do you.

You’re too angry.

You’re asking for it.

Guys don’t like girls like you.

You’re not wife material.

You’re such a bitch.

No wonder you can’t keep a man.

Omg, you can’t even take a joke. It’s a joke. It’s funny, everyone else (aka men) are laughing.

My all-time favorite: He didn’t mean anything by it. YOU must be overreacting.

 

Repeat after me:

This is not normal

 

It might have been bombarding you from so many angles, for so many years, that it feels normal.

It feels like you are the batshit crazy woman for being feed up of criticism purely based on being female.

But you are not crazy. You are right. This. Is. Wrong. 

 

The only way we get real change is by speak up. By using our voices.

Every time it happens tell social media or those around you about it. 

Yes, they will be tired of hearing about it. 

Yes, they will mock you and tell you to be quiet and for god's sake, take up less space; "you are making us uncomfortable."

 

That’s when you keep going. 

The more these stories are told, the harder it is to ignore the wrongness in our society. And the next generation of girls will be more comfortable in speaking up.

They will know from day one that this is wrong. 

That being female = a human being.

 

The patriarchy needs to feel uncomfortable. The world needs to feel uncomfortable. It is the only way forward

 

Keep speaking. Keep sharing. Keep daring.

Keep being you 100%. We need you. The world needs your voice.

 

PS. ...and yes, you should also share the good stuff that happens❤️

 

 

 

If you liked this post, please sign up for my weekly newsletter below: